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Wednesday, December 5, 2007

Urban Couples, Part Four

(Part One) (Part Two) (Part Three)
The saga of some time I spent internet dating, continues.

After the dinner with Tango Fiend, the second of four blind dates in five days, I had a day to regroup. I hadn't been out there that long, but already I feeling discouraged by the internet dating world.

Lucy was my muse during this period. She had a set of rules for me to follow, and the structure was reassuring. She and Brit, friends at the time, were fooling around with their male roommates (Uh-huh. I did not approve, but both gals were in slightly messy, non-relationship situations with guys they saw every day).

Looking back, following Lucy's direction may not seem wise. At the time, it was all I had.

Lucy's dating tips (for women) are simple and familiar:

1. Date anyone who asks
This will increase your confidence and make you feel desirable. Instead of weeding people out, you have many, many dates. The one glitch is that there are tango fiends out there.

2. Always be busy
If your date asks for a second date, be busy at the time he asks. Of course, if you're dating anyone and everyone, chances are you will be busy and you won't have to lie. Being busy and desired by others increases your desirability to the other person.

3. Seriously note how he treats you on the date
Manners count. If he treats you well, that's great and to be expected. If he treats you even slightly badly, things will only go downhill.

The night after the date with Tango Fiend, Lucy, Brit and I went out to the East Village. We sat at the bar and ate, as we sometimes did, and chatted with the bartender.

Brit was feeling more tipsy and opinionated than usual. She lectured at length how the steak could have been cooked better. I nodded, bleary-eyed, and quiet. I was thinking about my date the next day, and how I'd just rather stay home.

(Don't worry, the story gets worse and then much better).
Photo by myself of Lower Broadway.


Tammy said...

I agree with number 3, but I don't know about the first two. My daughter isn't quite 14 yet so i don't have to worry about her dating yet. I keep telling her boys are evil and that she should stay away from them, but she just laughs at me. I don't think it's working. LOL!

Nubia said...

Aww, I know how weird internet dating can be but there are success stories. I did match.com last summer and that's how I met the great guy I'm with now. Of course, the 3 guys I met before him were awful and one was even unemployed and kept asking me to rewrite his resume!! danger sign for sure!

http://www.chiaroscurro.com/ said...

Nice good looking blog and interesting writing.
Like your street photography too.

Reluctant Blogger said...

I love these dating stories! But those rules are a bit tough - I just can't imagine dating anyone who asked and that tip about seeming busy is so tricky to carry off without looking like you are lying, even when it is actually true.

So are you feeling better today?

Glad to hear you are an Anglophile. It took me ages, in my sleepy state, to work out what you say instead of "post" but it's "mail" isn't it?

mama's got moxie said...

oh, i don't know about lucy's rule number 1!! anyone? there are a bunch of weirdos out there and i don't know if being asked out by a bum (not literally a bum, but you know...) will really do much to boost your confidence! :)

Tammy said...

I have an award for you my friend. Stop by and pick it up. :o)

kitty said...

haha, I never thought about bums! But yes, I swear, so many people I know met on the internet.

One acquaintence just got married and she met her hb after placing a dating ad on Craigslist!

I'm climbing out of my cold, slowly, thanks.

It's very chilly out. I hope everyone is home and warm.